Character and the Good Man Journey
Regarding the wearing of Bashers, through discussions at RCL and Prefect level, the decision has been taken to have Mondays as Basher and Blazer day . Please remember to bring your bashers on a Monday, or a Tuesday if Monday is a holiday – you may also wear them at morning break, but ensure that your basher is clearly marked and locked in your locker when not worn.
KING GOODWILL
Baba Mhlongo, on behalf of the Nguni Society, addressed the school regarding the passing of the Zulu King, amazulu King Goodwill Zwelithini
Our school flags are at half mast for the rest of the week out of respect to the king who will be buried on Wednesday night
THEME: “BEING A GOOD MAN”
This week we resume our focus on the Good Man Journey which will be covered in the mentor classes over the next few weeks. We will welcome Craig Wilkinson back on Wednesday 31 March where he will address both staff and boys in the mentor period as well as Dads and Lads in the evening.
What is a definition of a good man?
On asking boys what their definition of a good man was the following qualities emerged:
honesty, loyalty, integrity and a good sense of humour stood out above others…”
Two of these values are included in our school core values, and it is essential that we keep reminding ourselves of our College Credo, our DNA, as we go on about our daily lives at College.
Today I would like to focus on aspects of being a good man. According to Justin Baldoni, of Man Enough, we need to look at not only being a good man but good humans. There is often confusion as to what makes a real man – and I can confirm that ‘A bully is not a real man’. International research has been conducted in a large number of boys’ schools internationally on what is best for boys in striving to be a good man.
Boys’ schools focus on:
- Essence of Maleness
It is about connection, links to the past that show the pathways to the future, and it is about excellence, striving to be successful in what you do in order to honour those who have gone before. It is about loyalty , hard work and sense of belonging. College has a 158 years of history and traditions.
- Physicality of boys
Sport is an integral part of the journey to manhood for the vast majority of boys. It’s competitive nature coupled with the sense it can give you of being a part of something bigger than yourself is what makes it a significant part of that journey and allows you to experience success and to develop a sense of pride in yourself…to build positive relationships…to use your high energy levels.” Our house competition adds significantly to this aspect as well.
- Stipulation of clear boundaries
“It appears you want and need to know only three things: who’s in charge, what it is you want me to do and what will happen if I don’t do it?
- Rites of passage – are very important part and that’s why we have activities such as ‘Vietnam’, Borver Week and the structure of the houses vertically with varied leadership opportunities
- Good Relationship with Parents
Need for mothers to withdraw [not be so involved in your daily lives]
Need for fathers to be more involved – research has proven that from the age of 14 onwards, fathers need to become more present in their sons lives and moms need to back off as you proceed of your journey to manhood and cross the bridge of adolescence - Respect
Treat all people with respect no matter what the differences and especially women.
- There is a strong need for suitable male Role Models
If your father is not in your life you will need to seek another suitable male mentor [older brother, uncle , grandfather, teacher, sports coach ..] to guide you on the path
You also need to work on your relationship with your father and/or any other significant male role model. It is interesting from the research conducted that when asked of boys who their hero is, over 95% of boys said their father. Dads also need to work on their relationship with you and to this end we at College are going to host a number of seminars and presentations for fathers and later father and son activities as we did last year.
On Wdnesday 31st March there is a ‘Dad and Lads ‘ Build a Burger evening starting at 5.30pm in the APMH with Craig Wilkinson as our guest speaker. It is hoped that many boys will attend with their dads/significant other male
With the long weekend break approaching, we encourage boys and staff to recharge – a reminder to keep sticking to Covid regulations and not do anything to hinder that. We have had a clean bill of health since school started and we don’t want that to change so that we can resume full sport ASAP.
Pro Aris et Focis
CL Luman (Headmaster)