Theme for today: “WELLNESS – Why men don’t talk?
Why men don’t talk? Real men don’t ask for direction
“Men struggle with acknowledging issues that they believe might cause them to be perceived as vulnerable or unable to manage.”
Research by Dr Ruth Woodfield at the University of Sussex provides some insight into gender difference when it comes to seeking help. Her work revealed that while female students more often report experiencing anxiety at university and express thoughts of leaving university, it is their male counterparts who are more likely to actually quit. This tells us something important. It seems we do not get early warning signals from males when they experience emotional distress.
To use a motoring analogy, when girls are struggling, the lights on the dashboard start flashing, giving both a clue to the problem and a chance to get to the garage. For boys it can appear that the car is humming along fine. Then the engine just blows up.
The focus on the bodywork at the expense of a labouring engine does not serve boys well. Men think that masculinity is achieved through an outward toughness marked by a reluctance to talk about anything that might make them seem less than others.
How do we change this mindset?
- Having emotional courage to talk about your issues.
- Redefine masculinity– Challenge the idea that men don’t ask for help, or that men don’t care.
- Make use of opportunities provided during character education lesson discussions in small groups where boys talk about issues around mental health.
- Track your emotions and behaviour– You might not talk about your struggle, but they will show it through bad behaviour, falling marks, social withdrawal, and often increased levels of aggression.
- Work and build on your relationships with those close to you and those you can trust.
- Sport and cultural activities provide opportunities for many men to talk to their coaches.
- School Counsellor and cultural groupings further provide platforms to talk.
Let’s work to change our mind-set and have the courage to talk about your issues when it presents itself.
Pro Aris et Focis