A message from the Senior Deputy Headmaster, Mr Matthew Marwick
Good morning
I asked the headmaster if I could say a few words, aimed specifically at the 5th Formers who were not selected for the current leadership camp that started today. But what I have to say is generally relevant to all young men who strive and hope to achieve something, only to face the sometimes bitter disappointment of defeat – and of rejection, even. Whether it’s not being selected for a leadership camp – or being dropped from a sports team, or not being invited to go to the beach with a circle of friends, or getting a cold-shoulder from a girl that you have your eye on – these disappointments and defeats don’t go away, even as you get older.
I well remember this time of the year, back in 1987, when the names of the prefects for the following year were read out, and how my cheeks flushed with disappointment that my name was not amongst them, even if none of us spoke about our disappointment or showed it at the time. For nearly four years, I and many of my classmates, like College boys before and since, had admired that beautiful prefects’ badge. And even though I knew my chances were limited, that knowledge didn’t take away my desire to be amongst the “chosen few”. Often – and I want especially those disappointed 5th Formers out there to listen carefully – the disappointment you feel comes through no fault of your own.
You have done nothing wrong. Perhaps you’ve got an unblemished school record, and are regarded highly and admired by your family and your parents’ friends. You truly believed that you would be “in with a shout” for a prefect’s badge – or at least a house leadership. You had real hopes and expectations – and now you face disappointment.
The reality is that College follows probably the fairest system it possibly can – but one that, yes, does rely on a boy being known and having a “rep”. It is a system that, like any such system around the world, benefits the boys with higher profiles; boys who are known by their teachers and recognised on the corridors, and who make a name for themselves and rise to a certain prominence. If you are not that prominent, your path is always going to be a bit tougher, and you may well have lost out this time around.
You 4th Formers and junior boys – some of you will lose out in the future, when this process comes around again. But don’t lose heart. After all, life is a long journey. Just because you lost out at high school when you were 17, does not mean that you are not destined for great things. You will be tested many, many more times during your life, and you will have many more opportunities to struggle again, to make a name for yourself at something that you are interested in and enjoy, and to find your own place in the sun. Perhaps it will be to gain the admiration of friends and family, to win promotion at work, to accumulate sports cars and beach houses, to win prizes and fame, or simply to gain the admiring look of your young child or, best of all, the love of a good women.
Do not lose heart. I remember reading long ago the words of a clever fellow who said that the world belongs to people “with sharp swords and brave hearts.”
Don’t give up – just like they teach you at this school. One day, if you believe and don’t give up – maybe it will be tomorrow, maybe it will next year, maybe it will be in 10 years’ time – you will have your day.
Thank you.